We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I need water and some morals
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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