I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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