he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize