yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Randomize
