Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
