No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
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