i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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