what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Randomize
