i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
did you just send me my own nude
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
