So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
They took my balls.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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