i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
