PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.