Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(907): View more from Alaska

Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?

(773): View more from Illinois

Responsible fail?

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(530): View more from California

Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust

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(904): View more from Florida

SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love

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23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Read it at the TFLN blog
(613): View more from Ontario

Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.

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(915): View more from Texas

Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.

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(410): View more from Maryland

I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.

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(352): View more from Florida

A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text

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