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• (301): View more from Maryland

  is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?

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• (941): View more from Florida

  Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.

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• (360): View more from Washington

  my secret santa just gave me a pregency test

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  Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July

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• (618): View more from Illinois

  i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything

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• (415): View more from California

  SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!

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• (410): View more from Maryland

  it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral

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• (815): View more from Illinois

  i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.

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• (605): View more from South Dakota

  I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.

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  19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced

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• (910): View more from North Carolina

  I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore

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• (708): View more from Illinois

  I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?

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• (801): View more from Utah

  He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.

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• (801): View more from Utah

  Why is your solution always to masturbate

  (1-801): View more from Utah

  Because it usually works

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• (315): View more from New York

  I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.

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