All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
