I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
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