from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
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