how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
