tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
