maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize
