God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
