guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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