I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
