i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Randomize
