I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Randomize
