He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
