Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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