I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Randomize