but the lizard people decide everything anyway
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
