Barsexuality is the new black.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
