I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
