you would pick up someone in the library
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
