They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
