bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize