Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize