what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Randomize
