Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.