This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?