i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
It's rum buckets o'clock
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.