Texts From Last Night

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  (330): View more from Ohio

  now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me

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  (330): now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me http://tfl.nu/m2x7
  Replies (6) Good night (2975) Bad night (749)
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  (810): View more from Michigan

  My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.

  (1-810): View more from Michigan

  either way. win, win.

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  (810): My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches. (1-810): either way. win, win. http://tfl.nu/dnjj
  Replies (37) Good night (3440) Bad night (763)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.

  (347): View more from New York

  I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.

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  (917): Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement. (347): I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy. http://tfl.nu/2bcu
  Replies (14) Good night (1311) Bad night (5040)
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  (559): View more from California

  The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.

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  (559): The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway. http://tfl.nu/e3fd
  Replies (7) Good night (2730) Bad night (942)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"

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  (206): I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?" http://tfl.nu/2uiv
  Replies (22) Good night (1171) Bad night (3814)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss

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  (412): Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss http://tfl.nu/99ou
  Replies (11) Good night (2177) Bad night (1329)
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.

  (1-714): View more from California

  If he was naked that was me.

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  (714): Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed. (1-714): If he was naked that was me. http://tfl.nu/ou2y
  Replies (10) Good night (4929) Bad night (787)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.

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  (360): We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat. http://tfl.nu/nbay
  Replies (8) Good night (657) Bad night (1574)
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.

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  (406): It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change. http://tfl.nu/cbid
  Replies (3) Good night (883) Bad night (560)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.

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  (315): I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening. http://tfl.nu/i72z
  Replies (3) Good night (644) Bad night (412)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.

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  (904): He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard. http://tfl.nu/3loy
  Replies (9) Good night (494) Bad night (1247)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.

  (360): View more from Washington

  Welcome to Bellingham.

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  (360): Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open. (360): Welcome to Bellingham. http://tfl.nu/j634
  Replies (4) Good night (896) Bad night (371)
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  (631): View more from New York

  Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.

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  (631): Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why. http://tfl.nu/ugb9
  Replies (1) Good night (542) Bad night (295)
• Favorite

  (989): View more from Michigan

  Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.

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  (989): Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking. http://tfl.nu/hv73
  Replies (5) Good night (548) Bad night (279)
• Favorite

  (605): View more from South Dakota

  First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor

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  (605): First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor http://tfl.nu/bd0k
  Replies (1) Good night (301) Bad night (150)

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