So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
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we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
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So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship