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• (323): View more from California

  i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  Special does not even begin to describe that text.

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• (845): View more from New York

  It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.

  Fav 69 4577 1121

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• (704): View more from North Carolina

  You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"

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• (206): View more from Washington

  Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.

  (360): View more from Washington

  You're getting good at this, you know that?

  Fav 17 7224 968

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• 

  19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (602): View more from Arizona

  I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank

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• (334): View more from Alabama

  The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.

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• (614): View more from Ohio

  Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars

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• (201): View more from New Jersey

  Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.

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• (949): View more from California

  Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"

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• 

  25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (614): View more from Ohio

  just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.

  Fav 10 2795 1929

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• (+31): View more from The Netherlands

  Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though

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• (417): View more from Missouri

  Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.

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• (302): View more from Delaware

  We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.

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• (615): View more from Tennessee

  I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.

  Fav 2 423 609

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction

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