New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
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