I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
