You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
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