I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
he was CRYING into my vagina
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Randomize
