I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize
