oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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