Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
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