Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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