Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
So gin and wine won't be happening again
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Randomize
