did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
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the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
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He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.