dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Dating After Heartbreak
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....