she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
