i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
