if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
