I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
