Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize