Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Randomize
