also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
