she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
