Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
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