I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize