Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
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