Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
