Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
