at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
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