margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize