Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
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