I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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