At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
dude i'm inner monologue high
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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